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I met this British guy who lives here in Chiang Mai. After knowing him for a few days and hearing him say some pretty grotesque and immoral things. He confided to me that he is a sex addict and he’s been “buying two whores a day” and spending all of his money on these Thai whores. “Every woman is a whore, some just don’t take money”. He now finds it an obligation to inform me everytime he buys a whore, sending me a picture here and there and telling me how much he’s paying and gets really excited when he finds a good bargain. I’ve tried to guide him through this and help him out by listening to what he has to say and making a suggestion here and there. I told him to sit down for 30 minutes and write about every sexual encounter he has had since the beginning. I thought this might reduce him to tears when he reflects upon a time when he was raped or that time when his heart was destroyed by that girl who he loved. He message me back 10 minutes later with a picture of a whore he ordered on line for 800 baht, $24 usd. One day we were eating at a buffett in the mall and he told me that he got caught in England for rape and now he is living life on the run.

One of the first nights we went out together was pretty late and we just rode around on our bikes, grabbed some food, and went to the bar that all of the Thai students go to. A lot of the Thai people don’t like foreigners because the Foreng are kind of taking over and often times really rude. We arrive there as the bar is closing and all of these stupidly drunk Thai kids stumble out of the bar. People are falling over and puking and laughing and singing, it was quite a scene. I go in and try to make some new friends, everyone lines up on the sidewalk near the main road with cases of beer and bottles of rum and continue the party outside of the bar before they drunkenly drive their scooters home. My friend wonders off and begins asking these girls “how much, how much, sucky sucky?”. It was really repulsive.

It’s easy to hate somebody like this, but deep down there is an inner sadness and inner longing for something else. I see it but just don’t know how to access it. Human psychology can be extremely delicate. Pain perpetuates pain which perpetuates more pain.